However, let’s remember that Giedroyc’s patented brand of zoinks-a-lummy irony has led directly to the UK’s decline at Eurovision, so perhaps she shouldn’t be put in charge of anything where people get to sing. Let It Shine: Ostensibly this is an all-star lineup, combining national treasure Graham Norton with national treasure Mel Giedroyc. And, like the BBC version, she’ll probably be the best thing about it. The Voice: Like the BBC version, Emma Willis takes the reins here. Also Martin Kemp and Dannii Minogue, as if that matters. This whole show is geared around Gary Barlow, so expect a five-minute, wonky-eyebrowed, too-sincere royal slurp straight to camera every episode until the Queen caves in and begrudgingly gives him a knighthood. The same Gary Barlow who took the X Factor’s blazing 2010 pomp and deflated it until it was for ever doomed to be a programme about fun-free musical adequacy.
Let It Shine: This entire series was apparently the brainchild of Gary Barlow. They’re joined by Gavin Rossdale from Bush, who fulfils this year’s role of Superficially Alternative Shill now that the shiny-faced I Predict a Riot boy has gone elsewhere and Jennifer Hudson, who won an Oscar and obviously deserves much better.
Except it’s all about Take That, so clearly things are much worse. Let It Shine: If you remember any of those old BBC1 Andrew Lloyd Webber shows, where people would compete to be the star of one of his musicals, you’ll know how Let It Shine goes. Some people sing to the back of will.i.am’s head, then will.i.am makes a noise like a robot that’s been dunked in milk, then the whole thing goes on for three months longer than it should, then the winner disappears from trace the second it finishes. The Voice: If you saw the BBC series, you’ll know exactly what’s in store.